Choose happiness

My life has never been this hard. Mother always gets mad at me even if I just want to ask something. She easily gives me that "angry bird" look that she has. I was expecting that to happen coz she easily believes on what other people say about me. I still think she's the meanest but i can do nothing about it. She's my mom and she has all the right to bash me with hurtful stuffs. I know and i believe that one of these days she'll realize that people who criticize me and say nasty stuffs about me will get their karma for free. Im just praying to guide them and forgive them.

I sti choose to be happy,inspite of whatever problems that I am experiencing right now, I still choose to smile, laugh and be kind to other people. I don't want to stress myself with the bad aura that surrounds me. This too shall pass, this too shall end. I will live my life the way I want it to be. And I will be happy coz i choose to be. I have taken away the bitternes, and the hate that's why I am still happy. Sometimes I think that I am not brave because I don't know how to cry anymore. But I was wrong, i realized that I didn't cry because I have overcome it. I have overcome being mad at people, being bitter with how my life was, and I have overcome being sad. I didn't cry because I choose to be happy.

I want to live my life like this, happy. And im still trying hard to be the happiest and contented person on earth.

To all my haters, you can go fuck yourself, say nasty stuffs about me, do whatever you wanna do, say you wanna say, I don't care. I dont feed the trolls. I stopped feeding maggots. So you can go suck and fly you filthy creatures. I still choose to be happy that's why I stopped feeding you. God's watching. I leave everything to Him.

I love my life. And i am happy with it.

Being happy.

I was a negative thinker, that was before I had my bariatric surgery. After I had it,  I lose a lot of weight, and gained self-confidence little by little. This transformation really changed me a lot! The way I dress, the way I think about life, I have become positive all of a sudden. The old isprikikay that people used to know changed. Some people love it, some don't. But who are they to judge me, right? This is my life, this is how I live my life NOW. The person they used to know, is changed. I changed for me, not for them. Really, it just ticked me knowing some people call me "OA" or "feeler" well, I have the right to do what I want to do, say what I want to say. If you get offended or you don't like what I said or did, then live with it. I have been trying to get rid of the "stains" in my past because, they stopped me from growing. They gave the kinda life I didn't want to. Now, that I am in the part of my life that I wanna do the stuffs I want or them stuffs I wanna do, nobody can stop me from doing it. One thing that I always remember that "People are gonna hurt you, no matter what you do, no matter you say, some of them are gonna talk shit about you. They will love you they will hate you but in the end, there's only YOU. And you're the only person who knows about yourself, you're the only person who can love yourself more than anybody else." That's the truth.

I have been a boring person since like what? Since my parents bought my first computer. Internet took all the fun away. I didn't blame the "internet" though. It's just that if I wasn't an internet freak, I'd be doing a lot of stuffs already! Now, I'm sorta detaching like 50% of my internet time and divert it into something productive. You know, like sewing, knitting, painting, LOL NOTTT!! I diverted some of my internet time in walking in the thread mill and doing Zumba. Have I ever told you I love dancing? Yes, I love dancing. People will laugh at me coz I'm obese and I can take the whole dance floor by myself, but I didn't care about it. I am with my friends and as long as I'm with them dancing then fuck all of you haters. LOL!

So yeah, I realized that if you want to be happy, you can choose to be happy. You can love your life and just be happy and be contented with what you have and what you are doing, as long as you're not hurting anybody then it's fine. And as for my Online game addiction, I have been trying to tell myself to stop it, but I also have friends ingame. I also have my "tropas" ingame. So I decided I'll spend time with them every day, like an hour or 2. We have facebook to communicate. HURRAY FOR FACEBOOK! LOL!

Oh, I just remember, I was gonna post some of my pre-op video and pictures but my Iphone got stolen. My old Iphone rather. :) anyways, I will be posting most of my stuffs in here and in my razzi account...  :)

Always remember happiness is a choice. :)